‘Are you a virgin, in the backseat?’ The question pierces my half hearted reverie. I don’t respond right away, not sure if I want to go there right now. I wasn’t paying too much attention to the conversation, I’d overhear words and sentences and let them shape my thoughts into less abstract ideals. I asses how comfortable I am with unleashing this information, with these people in this car, at this time. I’m not a secretive person, in fact I am a very open one, but there are different rules when a member of family is present.
Secrets in the Stars.
Walking into a room of strangers is unnerving no matter how confident a person you are. It’s always a deep breath situation. I present myself but barely anyone acknowledges my arrival. I get introduced and recieve a chorus of hellos but other than that nothing of note seems to occur. I find myself in a conversation with people whose names I forgot as soon as they were told to me - nothing personal, I’m just not a name person.
An Abundance of Profundity.
It’s 10:45. I’m hot and sweaty. The A/C is off. The air is thick. Another day of not doing much, the sixth day of my vacation to be precise, but I’m feeling good. It was over 100 fahrenheit today, roughly converted that’s 38 degrees celcius, aka something I’m not used to. My body doesn’t mind too much, I’m happy here, it appears to be a case of mind over matter. The fan on the ceiling is chugging along, trying to chivy the air into a cool breeze. It’s a fruitless attempt, the air is stubbornly stagnant.
A bump in the night.
I wake with a start, groggy, disoriented, I can’t remember what woke me. A flash outside, ‘what’s up with the streetlights?’ I think. I still can’t remember what woke me. The sky roars. I remember now. Another flash, so bright it’s blue, tears across my window. I count, barely 2 seconds before the thunder. It’s right above the house.
A flash of light, the sky is entirely illuminated, just for a moment, then arbiutary darkness again. My heart races. Lightning. The plane has begun it’s descent. Despite our delayed take off, we’re landing right on time, it’s just gone 8pm and it feels like midnight. My body clock is confused, I’ve not slept and my muscles ache. Irregardless of the weather, we land smoothly, the captain wishes us a nice night, the passengers don’t aplaud.
I’m there, at the balcony, looking down. People are swarming about, doing their thing, minding their business - like ants. Each person convinced that their journey, destination, their plans are the most important thing in the world, paying no regard to the others they push past obligating a similar notion. Everyone has the same agenda, get there early, get seated early, stay safe, stay together. The way they move about eachother, avoiding contact, carving their paths out almost twenty feet ahead of their physical being it seems. It’s mesmerizing almost, to watch, all these people, knowing I’m just one observing another. I am them, they are me. We are the same thing, a body of people with the same wants and needs but seperately going about our own business. I have to tear my eyes away before I get too caught up, before I go down a murky path filled with questions and whys - asking myself is this really it? Is this life?